I've been using active listening approaches for about 6 years now, when I interview candidates, to great effect.
I give a head's up to the candidate of what I'm going to do, right at the top after introducing myself. During the interview proper, I'll ask a question, and while the candidate is speaking, I'll make notes about what they've said. Then I read back to the candidates the notes I've written, asking clarifying questions, and seeing if there's anything that I've misunderstood or anything they'd like to expand on. I make it clear at the outset, and usually mention later on, that any mistake in the notes is on my part and that they should feel free to correct me. I've been surprised about how comfortable people have been to correct my misunderstandings. From time to time, I've even shared my screen so they can see what notes I've made. Once the interview is complete, I flesh out the notes with any impressions above and beyond the content, while I consider if I see them as a hire or no hire, and at what level.
This has resulted in much more positive experiences all round in interviews. Candidates seem to relax quicker, and get into the flow of things more readily. They're able to talk more freely without fear of being misunderstood, knowing they've got a chance to correct any misunderstanding later on in the loop.
Thank you for using the correct vowel for your context. A pet peeve of mine is when people misuse flesh and flush. Flesh is adding to a body of work. Flush is removing unnecessary details from the work. One adds flesh to bones (an outline, draft, etc.). One flushes crap down the toilet, getting rid of it.
Yes one should write flesh out rather than flush out. However, as someone who uses English as a second language, the concept of phrasal verbs is the single most non-intuitive thing (with the very real risk for severe faux pas).
From your own words, to flesh out implies to me as a non-native that I remove flesh from said thing, when in reality the expression is to mean that you "add" flesh to bones. Very confusing.
> the concept of phrasal verbs is the single most non-intuitive thing
I once said that a person seemed pretty "turned on" when I meant "switched on". Luckily it was on a private conversation with a friend who laughed and took the mickey out of me but then explained the situation so no harm done.
Are you saying that you’ve heard people say something like, “let’s flush this out”? I’ve never heard or read that before.
Although, “let’s flush this out” is also a hunting idiom, as in flushing out game. So that may be part of the confusion.
Never heard that either, and I've mostly worked in professional settings where there wasn't many native English speakers, but most of the communication was in English anyways, and don't recall hearing/seeing that once. And I'm usually slightly bothered by those silly things too.
"I created a story in Jira. Next refinement session we need to flush out the details."
To which the Jira bot should automatically reply, “We need to flush that sentence— and Jira— down the toilet.”
I once had an exterminator flush out an animal from my attic.
Who wants details in Agile/Scrum anyway? Flush them out! /s
i've often been surprised while working with kids that i'll be trying to manipulate them into a way of thinking about a problem or task and they ask me why i'm talking in that way or asking those (usually just prompting) questions
i'll usually just tell them why i'm trying to manipulate them into thinking about the problem in the way i want (in kid friendly language) and they're perfectly fine with it. people don't really seem to mind being manipulated like that, they really just hate not understanding what's going on or being lied to.
I also tend to think about this with the term manipulation, because it feels to me a bit like that. But in the end it really engages the other party to take their own steps and quetion what I am asking.
I guess that is less manipulative than other communication approaches...