Wouldn't it be great if public officials would say what they in fact mean the first time?

Torontonians are hardwired to be incapable of speaking like this.

And law enforcement are trained to speak a language with sounds like english, but isn't, and which makes no sense.

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/an-interactive-guide-to-...

(A long-ish read, but totally worth it. the "punch line" is beautiful.)

Speed and brownness were involved in a jumping‑related incident with a lazy dog and a fox.

Poetry.

I would say Canadians but British Columbians (yes this is the actual term) are even worse

An sms blaster was never used in fraud like this in Canada. Does that really make that big of a difference to you?