So is this behavior defined by societal rules and expectations, or by the genders' own nature?
I'm a man, and as I get older I feel like the idea of men having to be less social and aggressive (e.g. the part about not tolerating stuff - or the opposite idea that women are fine with suffering in silence while someone has poor behavior instead of speaking up) harms us.
> the idea of men having to be less social and aggressive
That's a gross misrepresentation.
Regarding aggression, in one's home, one doesn't want to and shouldn't have to explain things to others. One is supposed to be the king (or queen) of their home.
As for being social, sociologically speaking, men work to connect communities they don't belong to, whereas women connect the community they belong to.
Lastly, no, women do not suffer in silence. They are extremely vocal, often a lot more than men.
the part about not tolerating stuff
i left europe because of this nonsense. other cultures are way more tolerant. in china complaining about someone else is practically an insult. of course the downside is that when you have problems in your family, nobody wants to get involved because they feel it's not appropriate.