Universal charger = good
STASI/GESTAPO 2.0 = bad
To the rest... install Tox, QTox/UTox for PC (any OS) and Atox under Android. Never post personal data, ever.
Learn to set up i2pd on Trisquel/Ubuntu distros and set it as a daemon. Set up Links with 127.0.0.1:4444 as the proxy for everything and MARK the checkbox that says "tunnel everything to proxy" or similar. Disable cookies in the settings and DO NOT login to any web. Don't use "links -g", but "links in the terminal".
After you finish setting it up, save the settings.
Do the same with IRC clients, prefer simple ones such as IRC. Be aware to delete ANY metada and don't put your username as the login one under Unix/Linux, ever.
Get some Mutt config for it for the tunnel at /etc/i2pd/i2pd-tunnel.conf. Again, if it's a bit technical, use Claws Mail and disable any enabled metadata for your account.
> Universal charger = good
> STASI/GESTAPO 2.0 = bad
That much is obvious.
The problem is when you delegate power and authority to a body which enables them to impose both, you're going to wind up with the port first, Gestapo second.
Edit: Your edit thereafter is all a nice idea, but not a viable solution, as the same body could classify much of what you describe as criminal activity. That, and a solution which requires everyone to live like La Résistance in perpetuity is not a solution, but a precursor.