"Plus, I'm gonna declare that we're already in a secret war with a gang from Venezuela, and use that to kidnap latino-looking people off the streets, and if we find non-citizens--even if they're legally allowed to be here--I'll send them a gulag I rented from the dictator of El Salvador... So don't be mean to me."
"Oh, and you know that funding that Congresse passed a law to use somewhere in your state? You'll need to do a few things for me first..."
My imagined normal government advisor-sort who's just (figuratively) awoken from a 20-year coma and is attempting to approach this situation, initially, as a normal interaction with a normal President is the one drinking and hitting the crack pipe by the end. I tried not to over-burden it with formatting, but may have gone too light and made that unclear.
You missed the really brilliant part: using tariffs to force unskilled and low-skilled jobs back onshore while simultaneously mass-deporting most of the unskilled labour force.
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"Plus, I'm gonna declare that we're already in a secret war with a gang from Venezuela, and use that to kidnap latino-looking people off the streets, and if we find non-citizens--even if they're legally allowed to be here--I'll send them a gulag I rented from the dictator of El Salvador... So don't be mean to me."
"Oh, and you know that funding that Congresse passed a law to use somewhere in your state? You'll need to do a few things for me first..."
He's never had alcohol due to a family with addiction problems, that's my understanding anyway. I kinda see your point though.
My imagined normal government advisor-sort who's just (figuratively) awoken from a 20-year coma and is attempting to approach this situation, initially, as a normal interaction with a normal President is the one drinking and hitting the crack pipe by the end. I tried not to over-burden it with formatting, but may have gone too light and made that unclear.
The drinker in that story is the OP, coping with the barrage of bad ideas.
Pretty sure it's the unnamed guy that's doing the drinking in this scenario. No idea how you worked it out the other way.
The alcohol pouring is by the narrator in the vignette, not by Trump
Oh, and science? Education? Fuck 'em.
I mean to be fair this was the campaign promise, not like a random decision post election. He’s implementing exactly what he said he would.
You missed the really brilliant part: using tariffs to force unskilled and low-skilled jobs back onshore while simultaneously mass-deporting most of the unskilled labour force.
Well you know, officer, I was going towards the brothel in order to get away from the brothel....
Who knew the ghost of Christmas past for Trump was actually Marion Barry