More importantly, WHY is mysql GROUP BY still broken as default? MySQL is the PHP of databases, but it seems they have no plan to fix bugs.

MySQL GROUP BY is not broken by default (ONLY_FULL_GROUP_BY, the standards-conforming choice, is default for a decade or more). But there is basically no team left on the MySQL optimizer, after a long series of layoffs; it's gone from something like 40 to 3, give or take. Try Postgres :-)