3SAT can't be solved in sub-exponential time

Fwiw never thought it was a well-named conjecture

*Can be solved

This proves that EXP != NP

This is not a proof that NP != EXP. NP is poly time reduceable to 3SAT + 3SAT is sub-exponential does not imply that NP is sub-exponential -- the cost of the reduction may be enough to push the conjunction from sub-exponential to exponential.

Note https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=50253213 which explains it better.

I'm stating the conjecture as requested

I think you misunderstood, I believe they were requesting a layperson-friendly explanation of the conjecture and not a statement of it.

How is "This proves that EXP != NP", which is false, a layperson-friendly explanation of the actual proof that 3SAT is sub-exponential?

Note https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=50253213

Whenever someone asks for an ELI5, there's always got to be somebody who further confuses the issue.

Which is a separate issue than the one you commented originally