> Introducing a Voluntary Exit Offer

Headline is making me laugh cause it sounds like a press announcement for a new product

"The new Microsoft Voluntary Exit Offer, thinner, and lighter, with 20% slimmer bezels than before"

Our smartest, most capable Exit Offer yet.

And we think you're gonna love it.

_wait_

One more thing: Don't hit the door on your way out!

It could be an enterprise product bundled with some MS365 SKUs. They know a lot of MS customers would need such thing in coming years.

The new Office, 25% slimmer

queue the don draper meme

cue

too late, it's queued up. Currently playing : "Co-pilot's greatest hits"

First up: Recall

"Shareholders will love it! Our company has never told staff to get stuffed better!"

This sounds like satire, but I don't think we're far off from major tech companies announcing layoffs alongside new products at keynotes. After all, their purpose is to drive consumer and investor hype.