My kids must be losers - they still like books.

They might be because they don't get to build the muscle around how to control themselves in front of addictive software. It's an important skill to develop.

"My kids still like books" = "I'm not teaching them how to control themselves in front of addictive software"?

so, you mean they still let the kids use tablets then. I thought tablets were poison.

Don't worry, Amazon still sells books

Written by LLMs and your kid will be the first human to ever read them?

It's a sarcastic comment