You also have no way to get out of a bad relationship if things turn sour. Being stay at home is extremely risky, you give up freedom.
You also have no way to get out of a bad relationship if things turn sour. Being stay at home is extremely risky, you give up freedom.
Tbf, that's a very "modern"-ish way of viewing the idea of "committing".
And there are good reasons for that, of course, but with that thinking, you're always going to be not fully there, which might be harmful in different ways than the ways it tries to protect against.
It's a hard problem to solve, because Humans and interpersonal stuff is hard, but, ideally, one would frontload the friction, so that there is no need to keep an out on hot standby.
Sure in our modern era there are a lot more divorce and it's probably partly because people are less inclined to make efforts to stay in a relationship. But there's also statistically less abuse and domestic violence and that's partly because women by and large have a lot more options than they used to.
I don't think the trade off of having less divorce and more long lasting relationships is worth the increase of domestic violence and abuse so I do believe that people in any relationship should have an out (even if it's not in case of abuse or a breakdown of a relationship but instead for supporting oneself after the death of the only parent bring money home).
That still means that I would teach my kid that the secret behind any successful relationship is to make efforts and that one should not give up at the first problem but you never know what the future might bring and having some way out is always useful
> there are a lot more divorce
That is not what I was talking about. Mainly because it's a dumb talking point.
You've I think replied to what you expected one would write and not to what was written.
Then I'm confused by what you're trying to say. Reread it a few times, let me try to state how I understand your argument: - thinking about having a way out (so not being a stay at home wife for example) is a modern way of thinking about "committing".
- By thinking this way, you're not fully in the relation, so it's harmful to the relationship stability. (which I interpreted as divorce)
ok, I admit the last part, I'm not sure what you mean by front-loading the friction... I just focused on not keeping a hot standby.
Sorry for my confusion, not trying to be difficult here, I really don't get what you mean if not what I originally interpreted it as