This comes as absolutely no surprise to me -- my mother was recently transferred into memory care, and the changes to her memories are definitely showing some interesting changes. The foremost was that her new "apartment" is shared with one other person, gives off a bit of a dorm room vibe. First day, she was talking about how excited she was to be going back to school and seeing her boyfriends again(?!). I said, "Oh, like Doug? [my dad]". Her response? "Ew. No."
But, she's come around on that, and recently been upset about the affair he's been having (they divorced in 1980), and is irate over him having another kid with his new wife (1983), but isn't surprised that I haven't spoken to him in 12 years. She's never surprised at how I've aged, but doesn't remember her grandkids even exist and insists on meeting them soon (but remembers them when she sees them). Two weeks ago, she called to yell at me for things I did in high school (1990). At this point, I seem to be the anchor for everything recent, but when I'm not around physically, it's scattered everywhere else.
It's hard to write this, but before my grandmother died about 45 years ago, it felt like she'd lost almost all her memories, but was easy to take care of. She was in her late 80's.
My mom & aunt took yearly turns keeping her in their homes. If you kept her away from the stove, she still seemed quite happy helping fix her own breakfast, taking her meds, etc. Give her a warm washrag after, and she'd wipe down the table and then proceed to putter all around the kitchen, wiping and straightening. She preferred cartoons on TV (easier to see, I guess), and was always glad to fold clean towels or clothes, if she had the chance.
Once, she actually recognized me, and remembered my name. It was a very precious 5 minute chat, but then the memories were gone. Still, I'll always remember her that way, because it was just like how I remembered her, when I was a child.
Man, that makes me happy. I'm guessing your grandmother was a very upbeat, happy person who dealt with change well. My mother's the opposite, so now every little thing going wrong is the end of the world. It's rough, but I also get to see these moments where I can see how she was when I was little/before I was born, and those are moments that I do really enjoy.
These stories scare me. I'm happy that you were able to enjoy glimpses of your mother's past.
Mine is showing signs that several of us believe to be dementia, but she refuses to be seen and screened. It has gotten worse over time - repeated conversations, sometimes inside the same phone call, and a shift from "can't remember things if she doesn't write them down" to "needs to ask on multiple occasions because she hasn't remembered to write it down" - but not to the point where she seems to be a danger to herself.
I love my mother, but she is difficult. She also has grown with age. While she is difficult now, she used to be abusive and manipulative. My father would never speak ill of her, but from some things she's said I believe she was worse before she was raising us. If my mother regresses to an earlier state of mind, we will both need professional help. She will need professional care, and I will need help to not internalize the way she treats me.
I feel for you. Even though it's entertaining to read, that must be really hard to go through for you.
Sorry to hear that - my dad spent the last few years of his life in a care home, and I can very much relate.
Is so fascinating and horrifying to read this. We still have to learn so much about how the brain works