> When I did some work with a police agency, it was explained to me that there’s a pattern of escalation with people

You have been mildly brainwashed.

It would be best if that episode lead you to study a bit of psychology but instead you chose to believe.

Like any belief it's a combo of control and dopamine. The feeling of belonging to a group and being righteous within that group hits so hard that it takes hard explicit effort to screen your perception of its effects.

You are a victim because you failed to accept reality.