A classic paper worth a read:
If money doesn't make you happy, then you probably aren't spending it right
by Elizabeth Dunn, Daniel Gilbert, & Timothy D. Wilson
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S10577...
Includes explicit recommendations (even in the short abstract)!
Books on happiness (research) have become a bit of a thing in recent years, but Dunn seems to have published one of the earlier ones in 2013:
* https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15803098-happy-money
I'd also recommend Morgan Housel's various writings:
* https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/231148075-the-art-of-spe...
He had an interesting observation: the popular saying "don't spend money on things, but on experiences" only goes so far. Spending on things can bring about experiences: the big house/cabin/cottage per se may not bring you happiness, but if it's a place that you can gather family and friends, that can bring happiness/meaning. His first car didn't bring him happiness because it was a car (and not even fancy), but because of all the road trips he did with his friends in it.
I just finished reading this book while taking a train for a weekend vacation. To your point, he mentions that if spending money doesn't make you happy, it's because you're spending it on the wrong things. You shouldn't spend money to get the respect of others, because it's fleeting, causes envy, and is the fast food of getting respect. You need to spend money in ways that give you new experiences until you discover what kind of spending DOES make you happy.
Reading the paper I have a repeating puzzlement, wondering if they are trolling or sincere. For example, about the benefits of delaying consumption to happiness: ... For example, when asked to choose a snack from an array that included apples, bananas, paprika-flavored crisps, and Snickers bars, people overwhelmingly selected an unhealthy snack if it was to be consumed immediately, but drifted toward the healthier options when selecting a snack to be consumed the following week (Read & van Leeuwen, 1998). Because the present seems to be viewed under an emotional magnifying glass, people gave in to the temptation of salty, sweet satiation when it was immediately available, but when such satiation receded into the future, this temptation no longer loomed large, freeing people to select more virtuous options—and perhaps to appreciate the abstract health benefits of a banana at least as much as the more concrete deliciousness of nutty, chocolaty nougat. ...
I would say that delaying the pleasure in this case distances the pleasure anticipation from the decision, just like deciding to start going to the gym next week is much easier decision to do then deciding to start right now. Appreciation of the health benefits of next week's banana combined with the lesser, mediocre pleasure that will be felt eating it, might be better for the individual health then having that Savoy truffle right now, but no, the banana will never bring the same pleasure or happiness. Never.
(link to the full version easily found in google: https://dunn.psych.ubc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/1-s2-0-...)