I didn't really think about your third bulletpoint, that does make sense.
I think it's also good to be aware when you're lying to yourself. An easy example is how people talk about their gym membership.
"Oh, I would go, but I am so busy with X", or "I am already doing Y, so I don't really need to go". It's always a non-reason, while the true reason is that they just do not see a reason to go.
I don't get why this happens with work, though. I didn't love my job, but I definitely loved the colleagues, and I felt like I didn't do that bad of a job (ofcourse I see this differently now, I was doing a bad job).
In REBT (rational emotive behavioral therapy; a cognitive behavioral therapy focused on rational introspection) the excessive "need" language is identified with "musturbation": https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fh0087779
In Buddhism, excessive "need" language is identified with excessive clinging to some aspect of life that behaves contrary to your cravings or your understanding. (Upadana = clinging, tanha = craving, together with its positive and negative forms bhava-tanha and vibhava-tanha, "things must be so," "things must not be so.") The usual cure prescribed is to cure the ignorance that causes these illusions of reality, and/or detach from the clinging that causes your ignorance to inspire suffering (dukkha).
REBT is inspired by a number of philosophies: Stoicism, Buddhism, among others. If this more analytical approach to self-help appeals to you any, I might encourage you to check it out.