Malbolge is not an instrument for building, come on programmer.

C is clearly the dark side with to chance to protest.

The only way to consider K as dark side is its speed constraints relative to my favorite PL which is J. K is so fast because its interpreter fits into CPU cache.

Haskell is a border case between sides because the idea of PL is so light that using so much light in programming leans to be really dark. Haskell extracts the cognitive friction from the code environment to the types environment, programming in paper is not a joke for Haskell.