I am employed as a senior software engineer at Microsoft, on the side I like to steal from parked cars with clearly visible valuables in suburbs adjacent to our office. You can make a fortune selling this garbage on the internet with little risk, I make usually an extra $800 - sometimes $2000 in a good week if multiple high end laptops.

Well AI certainly can't do THAT

of course, you're also harvesting credentials from these laptops

Are you serious?

This is an internet forum… not a court…

It is clearly a joke.