Married ~20 years and ethically non monogamous. My partner and I date women together and solo. ~$1k to protect other people is cheap and is looked upon favorably by potential partners (I am able to provide vaccination and most recent STI test results on demand when asked).
Even if you’re monogamous, life is long and divorce common. I walk through cheap optionality doors whenever possible, and recommend others do to. YMMV.
8 facts about divorce in the United States - https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2025/10/16/8-facts-a... - October 16th, 2025
> Divorce is an important aspect of family life in the United States that shapes living arrangements, financial well-being and parenting. In 2023, over 1.8 million Americans divorced. Additionally, a third of Americans who have ever been married have also experienced divorce.
> Many adults who divorce go on to form new families through cohabitation, remarriage or having more children. For instance, most adults who have divorced (66%) have gone on to remarry. And among those who have divorced and are currently remarried, 46% have had a child with their new spouse.
Fair enough. I don't judge you.
But know that your lifestyle is outside the norm (I had to Google your description to make sure I understood aka open marriage) so your assumptions are slanted through that lens.
A lot of posters here and their families live very different lives and their choices likewise represent that, so their opinions are equally valid. Their needs are different.
No offense intended, I wouldn’t care if judged, in any setting. Data has value, nothing else does. An opinion will mean nothing when faced with a cancer diagnosis, either self or child, and I’m not here to change hearts or minds (mental models are rigid, humans are emotion vs data driven); only to share data, and consume data. Go where the data takes you, assuming valid data.
If you’ve made a good choice based on the data, you win, well done. If you haven’t, “we win or we learn.” Better luck next time. Try to win more than you learn. Reality and outcomes are the test. They do not concern themselves with opinions and feelings importantly. And so, decision fully informed from a place of logic and rationality.
I thought it was not effective if you had previously been exposed. Did you make it into your 40s as a non monogamous person without any exposure?
https://www.acog.org/womens-health/experts-and-stories/the-l...
> The vaccine is still helpful even if you have already tested positive for HPV or have been sexually active for a while. Most HPV transmission happens when people first become sexually active. But women who have already tested positive for HPV usually aren’t positive for all nine types that we vaccinate for. So in some cases, we’ll recommend those patients get the vaccine if they haven’t already. And if you’re older – midlife age, and new on the dating scene and sexually active – you should ask your doctor about the vaccine too.
>[Note: The HPV vaccine can also be an important part of treatment for the cell changes caused by HPV infection. After the abnormal cells have been removed or destroyed, the HPV vaccine may help prevent abnormal cells from coming back. Read Human Papillomavirus (HPV): Infection and Vaccination for more information.]
https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/hpv-vaccination