It could never be against the police officer themselves due to qualified immunity. They are free to break the law however they wish. And that completely lack of accountability creates the risk inherent in every (US) police interaction.

I'm rooting for you to get laid. Seems like you could use it. Plus, that's not how qualified immunity works.

I don't think that's how it works in theory, but in practice it seems to be pretty close.

(I mostly agree with you otherwise. Mr Banana Car Man would tell us, if he felt himself to be a victim.)