This is great but sails far too close to Poe's Law that I predict downvotes.

I missed it at first. Then reread it, and wow - this is grade A satire of the sort rarely delivered anymore, probably indeed because of exactly what you're saying.

Well, if so it needs a little "touch" I guess

It is not necessary for (good) satire to be easily/immediately recognised as such imo

Before the "preferably before IPO" I honestly couldn't tell.