That strikes me as a really poorly calibrated expectation. Who benefits? Who's paying? How could I get this job?

I don't know who would be paying, but there are many comments here that are semantically indistinguishable from paid shill comments. I don't have a great explanation for it other than people tend to attribute way too much power to whatever random supplements they're on about (you'll see it in vitamin D or B12 threads too, and especially nootropics (which includes creatine) discussions).