> Remembering (and using!) someone's name is a magic spell, too.
When it's done to me, it's the magic spell of "I Distrust You". A time or two is fine, as is its usage if one is -say- in a group conversation where it can be difficult to understand to whom one is speaking, or -say- one needs to get my attention when I'm focusing on something else.
In my many years of personal experience, I've found that people who behave as if speaking my name to me is a magic spell absolutely do not have my best interests at heart. At best, they want to manipulate me into doing something that I don't wish to do. I recognize that my opinion is not universal, but I am absolutely not the only person on earth who's like this.
Isn’t the magic in the "time or two"? For example I always make it a point to thank call center people by name after they’ve helped me, even though their name comes up exactly once before that point (when they introduce themselves). It’s just extending a basic courtesy, treating someone like a human being. (Of course, remembering the name of who was helping you is not just basic courtesy but also useful for other reasons.)
Seems the message got distorted from "remembering people's names shows you care about them" to "use people's names unnecessarily or in bad faith". I was pretty upset by that Apple Intelligence ad where Bella Ramsey pulls up someone's name and then pretends she remembered it – yuck.
> Remembering (and using!) someone's name is a magic spell, too.
When it's done to me, it's the magic spell of "I Distrust You". A time or two is fine, as is its usage if one is -say- in a group conversation where it can be difficult to understand to whom one is speaking, or -say- one needs to get my attention when I'm focusing on something else.
In my many years of personal experience, I've found that people who behave as if speaking my name to me is a magic spell absolutely do not have my best interests at heart. At best, they want to manipulate me into doing something that I don't wish to do. I recognize that my opinion is not universal, but I am absolutely not the only person on earth who's like this.
Isn’t the magic in the "time or two"? For example I always make it a point to thank call center people by name after they’ve helped me, even though their name comes up exactly once before that point (when they introduce themselves). It’s just extending a basic courtesy, treating someone like a human being. (Of course, remembering the name of who was helping you is not just basic courtesy but also useful for other reasons.)
Seems the message got distorted from "remembering people's names shows you care about them" to "use people's names unnecessarily or in bad faith". I was pretty upset by that Apple Intelligence ad where Bella Ramsey pulls up someone's name and then pretends she remembered it – yuck.
In defense of Dale Carnegie he always said that for this to work, you need first to learn to GENUILY CARE about other people.
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