Nobody has it on, and unless BOTH sides are using it, your iMessage conversations are all readable by Apple, because they are backed up twice - one for each end.

This option is also disabled in the UK - an intentionally preserved backdoor for government access.

https://support.apple.com/en-gb/122234

Okay fine but I use it and so does everyone in my immediate family and we're not in the UK. So... you're wrong.