> to the fragile dinosaur that Github has become.

GitLab has just as many outages, just nobody notices/cares so much

Our GitLab has fantastic uptime, because it's self hosted

Then you should compare to self-hosted GitHub

[dead]

Which has an uptime of 0 because it doesn’t exist

> it doesn’t exist

GitHub does provide self-hosting via GitHub Emterprise Server.

> because it doesn’t exist

I'm not so sure, and I'm looking at the friggin' thing: https://enterprise.github.com/trial

For the small, small price of your business email address, it's yours.

Not only does it exist, it's cheaper than Gitlab Premium.

Not true. It exists, though I know someone who had to support it and it's apparently a real POS that not even Microsoft support is good at fixing.