What mental gymnastics? Women that are abused often marry an abuser because it's just the way things are in relationships.
For boys, fighting or threat of violence is just a fact of life. They are taught at a young age not to use that violence against someone that's not roughly physically matched, which includes women. That's why we tell boys never hit girls.
Why do you pretend you don't understand?
No, in advanced societies we tell children to never hit others.