Or,are we just getting older and these things suddenly matter?

Possibly a factor, but I also think these issues are becoming much more widespread, leaving us less able to tolerate them than when they were less common.

A button looking like a button isn't an age (of the reader) thing.

Of course it is. What should a button on a screen look like, after all, it has absolutely nothing to do with a large mechanical button from the 80s the old designs tried to emulate. In fact, such buttons are becoming rare even in the physical world, the younger generation is more and more accustomed to touch buttons for operating all kinds of machinery around them. So "like a button" is very much an age thing

Looking like a "touch button" is still looking like a button. Some indication that an element is tappable is still useful.

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