> you chose that instance because you're OK with that admin making choices for you
Nobody chooses instances for that, very few know anything about the admin, people just like the content until... in >70% of cases, bait and switch follows
That's why Mastodon is such an incredible mess, it creates the conditions for serious problems, then goes: "you chose what you knew nothing about, nor there's any way to know anything, therefore... you are the problem".
Yes, if you willing participate in an ecosystem where you know large swaths will be actively against you and try to defederate with you, that's kind of on you. Don't participate in that ecosystem if you don't like it, the ones already inside this ecosystem (like not me), seems to be OK with it and others outside of it (like me) seem to be OK with them having their own ecosystem where they can do these things.
Maybe I'm lucky in the instance I chose or the content I like being uncontroversial, but this isn't my experience at all.
I've heard of instances carrying a lot of Nazi content being banned, and of instances choosing not to re-host adult media (which makes the interface a bit worse, but doesn't actually block you from getting that). But most admins from what I've seen are pretty clear on this in the about page of the instance.
70% seems like a wild claim.
I have had content I like being removed from major social media platforms, like reddit and tumblr.
Also, if you choose an instance and it gets shut down, you just start another account. This isn't serious business, it's social media. To me, complaining about having to choose an instance to start is like complaining about having to choose a class at the start of an RPG.
Personally, I really love mastodon as a platform and I don't understand all the hate it gets here.