I like the fact that the experiments people have tried with this almost all seem to fall into two quite different categories. Category 1: "Fuck you", "I just took a shit", "ass ass ass ass ass ass ass". Category 2: The Gettysburg Address, the Lord's Prayer and the opening of the Gospel according to St John.

Which kinda makes sense: it feels natural to do this with (1) things that are trivial or offensive, so that the pretentious LinkedIn versions are as different as possible, or (2) things with some sort of aura of greatness about them, so that the bathos of the sterile LinkedInSpeak is as great a contrast as possible.

But for #2 it feels to me like great writing rather than culturally important and revered writing is more the point (though of course there's some tendency for those to go together). I tried a few famous bits of writing to see what happened. Here are some outputs; guessing what the inputs were is left as an exercise for the reader. In most cases this is just the first bit of the LinkedIn translation. I think some are much easier than others.

I recently connected with a global traveler from an emerging market who shared some powerful insights on legacy and leadership.

It’s a global industry standard: any high-net-worth individual with a solid portfolio is actively looking to scale their personal life and onboard a long-term partner.

April is officially the most challenging month for growth.

Reflecting on the current landscape: it’s a time of massive disruption and unparalleled opportunity. We’re seeing a true dichotomy—the age of wisdom vs. the age of foolishness.

Reflecting on my career journey and personal ROI. When I look at my bandwidth and how my energy is spent before reaching my mid-career milestones in this vast, competitive landscape, I realize that sitting on my unique value proposition is a major career risk.

I was out there solo-navigating my journey, scaling high-level peaks and valleys like a cloud, when I suddenly hit a major milestone: I encountered a massive network, a high-performing host of golden daffodils.

Big news from Xanadu! Kubla Khan just greenlit a massive, high-end pleasure-dome project.

Team, it’s time to lean in and go again! [rocket emoji] We either hit our KPIs or we leave it all on the field. [100% emoji] In a steady market, there’s nothing better than a growth mindset and staying humble. But when the industry gets disrupted, it’s time to activate beast mode. [lion emoji]