Reading #2 makes me sad. I had a pair of Bose for probably a decade and tried out Sony and the biggest complaint I have is the lack of a physical off button. The Sony have a known issue where it don’t detect that it’s off of your head and it’s not that obvious that the headphones are on or off. At least a few times a week I put them on in the morning and they have been on all night.
Sony WH 1000 XM4 and WH 1000 XM6 both have physical off buttons and I've also never had a problem with them not turning off due to inactivity. If I take my XM6 off and put them on the desk, they pause music/podcasts and will fully turn off after some minutes (like 15 minutes? not sure, but it's short enough that if I go eat lunch and come back, they turned off automatically).