> What I need is an opinionated guide on minimum viable virtualization
Get a nuc or a mini pc: i5-8500 or better (used, ebay https://www.servethehome.com/introducing-project-tinyminimic... for a baseline of what's out there)
Ram is your friend (but prices are gross). Dont be cheap on storage.
Get an external USB drive (3/2/1 rule).
Install proxmox on said device.
Use the proxmox community scripts to install HAOS as a VM. https://community-scripts.org/categories?category=operating-...
Pass through what ever USB devices you need (or spring for POE devices ).
Enjoy your HA setup.
Proxmox is the way to go here. Once you have a working install dont over commit before you learn to: 1. back up, 2. restore. These should both be local and remote (HA can enable this to various sources).
As a bonus you now have a runtime (proxmox) that can do tons of other things (see the whole community scripts link).
I have been running HA for years now, and this method makes things a pleasure and is easy (at least if you're a nerd) and cheap (the solutions are lower power).
An enthusiastic two thumbs up to this approach. It's exactly what I run at home that has been working solidly. I run on an N100, which is just a hair smaller than an i5-8500, with 32GB DRAM and a 1TB SSD (total overkill). I keep it under proxmox; the box also runs my unifi SDN controller, pihole, and a linux VM for various little services. Two USB dongles for z-wave / zigbee / matter (because I'm a glutton for punishment). Backed up to a NAS. It's fast, easy, and has been very reliable.