> ETS is not a process that responds to messages, you have to wrap it in a process and do the messages part yourself.

I didn't say it's implemented as a process but works as if it where logically. Most terms (except literals and the binary references) are still copied just like when you send message. You could replace it behind the scenes with a process and it would act the same. Performance-wise it won't be the same, and that's why they are implemented differently but it doesn't allow sharing a process heap and you don't have to do locks and mutexes to protect access to this "shared" data.

> i am pretty sure that's a process_info bif that directly queries the vm internal database and not a secret message that can be trapped or even uses the normal message passing system.

I specifically meant querying the dictionary of another process. Since it's in the context of "erlang is violating the shared nothing" comment. In that case if we look at https://www.erlang.org/doc/system/ref_man_processes.html#rec... we see that process_info_request is a signal. A process is sent a signal, and then it gets its dictionary entries and replies (note the difference between messages and signals there).