The problem is that people think socialisation is some mandatary thing, like food or air, but the truth is - it is not.
We are born alone and we will die alone, there is nothing bad about it, it is just how life is. You can have people around you but in your thoughts in your emotions, in your experiences you are always alone. There been lots and lots of people who would live just fine, very productive and profound lives and were socially alone.
Once you realize it - the problem is gone, or rather you see that there was no problem, just a certain conditioning by society which you grew up in. What can help here are not psychological nonsence, but some meditations definitely push you towards this (and other types of) realisation.
Disagree completely. All the most substantive experiences and memories of ones life happen within groups. Born alone die alone is reductive given each person only has fragments of information and insight individually, so we spend most our time together in some form
“Born alone” is beyond reductive, it’s plain wrong. You literally come out of another human who you must then feed on for months in order to survive.
You are born out of another human but even they can never understand you fully, they can never experience you fully, they can never know you fully. The problems of parents and kids are all coming from that and are old as time. If even parents can't do that there is no chance with other people.
This is the trick of the universe, or a trade-off if you will: being completely alone also means being completely free in terms of internal experience. If you realise that - that is the greatest gift, if you are unaware it can feel like a curse.
You're arguing for solipsism.
you think humans don't like being alone because they are conditioned to feel that way? And you can just be ok with being alone when you realize this?
I'm not talking about "liking" it, if you like being around people - there are many ways to do it, unless you live in a mountain cave or something. In any city there are dozens of volunteering groups that would be very happy if you came over and helped them and you will be around people as well.
But in our internal state of being, in our thoughts, in our emotions and the very experience of life we are always alone. Yes we can try to express them to others some extent, but it can never be complete. In that sense we are fundamentally alone, and realising that makes the problem disappear.
Because if I'm always alone internally and nature made it so, why worry about that? The need for desperate attempts to fix it disappears and you are just fine both ways, when there are people around or when there is no one around.
it's not just conditioning, there is likely some biological drive because we evolved as a social species, but he's right, there is also conditioning and it can be dealt with. there is plenty of people that live in solitude and plenitude because they chose or learned to do so.
we're told that we need connection, but what we seek in others is really ourselves: our meaning, our purpose, we need to matter. what we actually find in others is only the illusion of that. it works (usually) and it feels good but not necessarily for everyone and there are ways to do that all by yourself. just be nice to yourself and enjoy existence. some will contemplate you as a weirdo, but that's their conditioning kicking in. it may not be for everyone, but there's really nothing wrong with that.
i was raised in a crowded family. i had dates and got married and got kids. i have a few friends left, some family left, aquaintances, sport comrades, sporadic contact and interaction with all of them ... but i spend most of my time alone and doing my thing, and rarely get bored, days fly. sometimes i might feel empty, lonely, depressed ... well then i reach out, or just soldier on, or distract myself, i know it will pass. and i think everyone has such moments, i had them all my life, being permanently crowded just distracts you from that. all in all, looking back, i'm having the blast of my lifetime and this is how i want to live the rest of it.