I got a high-pitch ringing tinnitus when I was about 18-20. I went from being a person that falls asleep in <5 min to needing at least 1h + needing a background radio/white noise/stream to fall asleep. I sympathize and recognize everything that you reflect on here. I felt kind of "depressed" the first year.
But no matter how cliché it sounds, it does get better with time. The brain does get better and better with filtering it. I also discovered that my tinnitus gets worse with caffeine, stress and lack of sleep. In periods when I live a overall "healthy" lifestyle in respect to sleep, stress, food, working out etc. I forget that I have tinnitus. When I sleep to little and/or when I'm stressed, it comes back full force. I have totally cut out caffeine, which also happened to help with my migraine.
Now ~15 years later I'm in my early thirties and I rarely think about it tbh. However, after a bad cold about 5 years ago I got a secondary tinnitus which is a low-frequency humming. This set me back and cased me some sleepless nights but I have adapted to this as well.
The thing I miss the most is the concept of "total silence". I do envy my fiancé sometimes if we're out in the woods or whatever and I know that she can just relax while "hearing nothing".
Let time do its work and experiment with your body/health to find what makes it lessen. Chances are that de-stressing, sleeping well and eating and working out does make it better.
> But no matter how cliché it sounds, it does get better with time.
For some, perhaps, but mine (25+ years) has not improved one jot. At best I've learnt to manage it with masking sounds (thanks to MyNoise) but it's always there waiting for a quiet moment.
Might be to do with how well your general auditory circuitry was working in the first place, mind - e.g. I've always had the "two noises at once tend toward garbage in my brain" problem (which made most social conversations almost impossible. FUN TIMES.) Given that implies my brain was already fairly borked for auditory processing, that might have an impact on whether it can eventually cope with tinnitus and/or whether it is more susceptible in the first place[0].
[0] Although I am 99% sure it's due to a large amount of loud gigs in small venues without any ear protection causing "mechanical damage" tinnitus.
WRT “mechanical damage” — I feel you. Standing in front of the stage feeling your organs vibrate in time to the music is fucking magic. I won’t say that it’s worth the tinnitus, but I am happy I have some memories of a trade-off, you know?
FWIW I still go to shows sometimes, and stand right in front of the stage to feel my eyeballs vibrating. I wear good ear protection, though, and feel no pain. Even though the music isn’t quite the same.
> I wear good ear protection, though, and feel no pain.
Yeah, I've got a variety of Etymotic "concert" ear plugs (mainly ER20s), a collection of Loop ear plugs, some from Flare (titanium, aluminium), and various other of differing construction that live in my "gig bag" (small bag that holds phone etc. without causing security to freak out.) I find that if I don't wear ear plugs at a gig or even the cinema, I'll have terrible pain overnight and I'll be useless the next day.
(Hell, even bus or train journeys can require ear plugs some days.)
It sounds worse for you than for me, and I’ll tip out some scotch in your honor next time I have some.