Am I the only one disappointed they didn't settle for 286 cores?

During the 8th gen they made an i7-8086... Hopefully Intel hasn't fired that person.

8086K, actually. I still run one inside one of my PCs!

I wonder if they can bin out ones that have a dead core or two specifically for this purpose.

At least you got the Intel® Core™ Ultra 9 Processor 386H :)