A good writer knows when to use literary techniques.

They work just fine in this post.

Yeah, it's perfectly reasonable device that I often use. I love the circle reasoning being displayed:

  "this sounds like AI"
  "professional writers use this technique"
  "they can't be a professional writer, they're using AI"

No, it’s unpleasant to read. To be clear, it’s possible a person wrote this, and that would not change it being unpleasant.