I think my favorite interaction with a dev around this was when I was explaining how his java program looked like a big juicy target for the OOM killer and it had killed it in order to keep the system working. His response was, "I don't care about the system, I care about my program!" And he understood the irony of that, but it was a good reminder that we have somewhat different views and priorities.
A developer not caring about the system is why the file explorer is painfully slow today, compared to 15 years back.
If a programmes doesn't care about the system, I already know he's shit at his job.
That is basically WinUI/WinAppSDK, the whole WinRT stack and related dev experience, where even plain .NET is faster.
However the team will advertise it as performance, due to being written in C++.
Pity it gets slowed down by COM reference counting all over the place, which cannot be optimised away, and the application identity sandbox.