You don’t see what’s hilarious about recreating what you are pretending to remove only one abstraction level removed?
Anyway, I have great hopes for effect system as a way to approach this in a principled way. I really like what Ocaml is currently doing with concurrency. It’s clear to me that there is great value to unlock here.
I don’t agree with your characterization that anyone is “pretending”. The whole point of abstraction is convenience of reasoning. No one is fooling themselves or anyone else, nor trying to. It’s a conscious choice, for clear purposes. That’s precisely as hilarious as using another abstraction you might favor more, such as an effect system.