I think civilized people talk in turns. If you chose to violate the social contract anything goes.
I have a hard enough time remembering what I've already told people. I also have to account for half sentences? I'm supposed to remember where I was rudely interrupted and store their response where? Does it even relate to the topic?
I also fear turning my head into a ravioli of sound bites. Like an aquarium with little chunks of thought floating around. Tiny insignificant chunks. Like death!
English is not my mother tongue, so all I can say is no, that's not how communication works (of course you can think whatever you want or your neurons conjure up, I can't argue with what you think). Discourse analysis revolves around the dynamics of speaking, speakers and conversations: gender, age, empathy, attention there are lots of factors in play that decide who speaks and how or when the other party or parties can take turn (or whether the turn is given). Taking turns is not a social contract; it's a rule in your head. You're free to decide to punish people for violating rules in your head, but depending on the level of punishment, you may end up in court.
These are your personal preferences, not some "social contract". I'm completely fine with people interrupting me to correct something I said or to add an important detail I missed, and I tend to do the same.
To see slightly diverging behaviors as uncivilized, to unilaterally demand that people change it to suit your preferences, and especially to threaten people with physical violence seems really deeply troubling to me. I don't think that's a good attitude to have at all.
People have different cultural and personal expectations, quirks, even medical conditions (e.g. ADHD) that affect how they handle communication. You can ask people - politely - to try their best not to interrupt you because it makes communication difficult for you, otherwise walk away.
I also have ADHD which makes me more prone to interrupting people and while I try my best not to, it happens. If I'm troubleshooting a problem for you and by the end of your second sentence I know what the immediate next step is but you keep talking about some irrelevant back-story, I will probably interrupt you - either that or my brain will completely miss what you're saying for the next 5 minutes, making sure that the thought in my head doesn't just - poof, disappear.
Yes some people think I'm rude for that. No, I don't really care because it's not something I can change. Rude are the people unilaterally imposing arbitrary personal preferences onto other people.
This has never happened in your life. There is a one hundred percent chance that if somebody repeatedly interrupts you, you nod and picture what Sephiroth would do to them.
I ran into someone I didn't see for many many years. He told me that over time he realized I was the only one he ever had a real conversation with. Real was probably not the right word I think but everyone he knows including him takes great care to never let anyone finish a sentence. Everyone reminded him of me. He talked for 40 minutes straight, it was the most memorable life story full of unlikely favorable events. He really needed to get it off his chest too.
I didn't agree to their version either. What follows is a negotiation to figure out how to progress. You could do that verbally but since they aren't interested in what you have to say.
You guys realize he’s writing fan fiction about himself right?
“I live in a world where I regularly threaten strangers with violence and don’t get my ass kicked and people still talk to me. I look exactly like Fabio but with a bigger penis. I drive the original Mustang from Bullitt around the race track on my mega yacht I won by beating Gabe Newell in every video game on Steam. I have eleven girlfriends and they are all Jessica Alba.”
Econ is (I’m guessing) ~12 years old, plus or minus a year or two. These sorts of fantasies are pretty common during puberty.
I asked one time why I was excluded from some behavioral statistics. The guy said with a straight face that it was because I'm not real. You are a figment of my imagination.
I asked, an outlier? No no you actually don't exist. I discovered this when I noticed the data made perfect sense if I removed you. People like you don't exist. Period
Thanks for the perspective.
I think civilized people talk in turns. If you chose to violate the social contract anything goes.
I have a hard enough time remembering what I've already told people. I also have to account for half sentences? I'm supposed to remember where I was rudely interrupted and store their response where? Does it even relate to the topic?
I also fear turning my head into a ravioli of sound bites. Like an aquarium with little chunks of thought floating around. Tiny insignificant chunks. Like death!
English is not my mother tongue, so all I can say is no, that's not how communication works (of course you can think whatever you want or your neurons conjure up, I can't argue with what you think). Discourse analysis revolves around the dynamics of speaking, speakers and conversations: gender, age, empathy, attention there are lots of factors in play that decide who speaks and how or when the other party or parties can take turn (or whether the turn is given). Taking turns is not a social contract; it's a rule in your head. You're free to decide to punish people for violating rules in your head, but depending on the level of punishment, you may end up in court.
Raising my hand is not punishment. People are free to fear I will slap them but I didn't do it until I do.
Yes, the settings play a roll of course. The joke is best with other males of the same age. It's not funny with kids or woman.
Social contract, rule in my head? I don't know if there is a difference.
These are your personal preferences, not some "social contract". I'm completely fine with people interrupting me to correct something I said or to add an important detail I missed, and I tend to do the same.
To see slightly diverging behaviors as uncivilized, to unilaterally demand that people change it to suit your preferences, and especially to threaten people with physical violence seems really deeply troubling to me. I don't think that's a good attitude to have at all.
People have different cultural and personal expectations, quirks, even medical conditions (e.g. ADHD) that affect how they handle communication. You can ask people - politely - to try their best not to interrupt you because it makes communication difficult for you, otherwise walk away.
I also have ADHD which makes me more prone to interrupting people and while I try my best not to, it happens. If I'm troubleshooting a problem for you and by the end of your second sentence I know what the immediate next step is but you keep talking about some irrelevant back-story, I will probably interrupt you - either that or my brain will completely miss what you're saying for the next 5 minutes, making sure that the thought in my head doesn't just - poof, disappear.
Yes some people think I'm rude for that. No, I don't really care because it's not something I can change. Rude are the people unilaterally imposing arbitrary personal preferences onto other people.
You have the right idea what should take priority when trying to accomplish something.
If you interrupt me to correct me I actually admire it. Extra points if you get to do it twice in a sentence.
I'm taking about repeatedly interrupting the next step with irrelevant back story or worse, a not even related topic.
The big question I suppose is if your thoughts continue to go poof if you try harder to hold onto them.
This has never happened in your life. There is a one hundred percent chance that if somebody repeatedly interrupts you, you nod and picture what Sephiroth would do to them.
I ran into someone I didn't see for many many years. He told me that over time he realized I was the only one he ever had a real conversation with. Real was probably not the right word I think but everyone he knows including him takes great care to never let anyone finish a sentence. Everyone reminded him of me. He talked for 40 minutes straight, it was the most memorable life story full of unlikely favorable events. He really needed to get it off his chest too.
It was a memorable event for you that somebody said that they enjoyed talking to you?
His life took a few hilarious unexpected turns that worked out really well for him.
> If you chose to violate the social contract anything goes.
Sounds like they never agreed to your version of this "contract", so they're not violating anything, you're just making excuses.
(A social contract is not the same thing as a legal contract, but you seem to be treating it closer to the latter, which requires explicit agreement)
I didn't agree to their version either. What follows is a negotiation to figure out how to progress. You could do that verbally but since they aren't interested in what you have to say.
> but since they aren't interested in what you have to say
"i just resort to violence! it's funny!"
You guys realize he’s writing fan fiction about himself right?
“I live in a world where I regularly threaten strangers with violence and don’t get my ass kicked and people still talk to me. I look exactly like Fabio but with a bigger penis. I drive the original Mustang from Bullitt around the race track on my mega yacht I won by beating Gabe Newell in every video game on Steam. I have eleven girlfriends and they are all Jessica Alba.”
Econ is (I’m guessing) ~12 years old, plus or minus a year or two. These sorts of fantasies are pretty common during puberty.
I asked one time why I was excluded from some behavioral statistics. The guy said with a straight face that it was because I'm not real. You are a figment of my imagination.
I asked, an outlier? No no you actually don't exist. I discovered this when I noticed the data made perfect sense if I removed you. People like you don't exist. Period
On the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog
I like to think of it as playing ball. Sometimes people are just bad players. Sometimes people are in a bad mood.
Just consider that physical intervention is not appropriate for most cases.
Do civilized people also use threats of violence when they don't get their way?
Maybe try using your words instead.
You can't be civilized on your own. The interaction proceeds without it.