Okay, so you're a January 6th rioter/insurrectionist.

I get it, you don't want to come clean as you might have some "'splainin' to do" Lucy.

Enrique, is that you?

lol I'll bet OP has a super hot girlfriend who goes to a different school and plays bass in a punk band. No you can't meet her, she's on tour right now, in cities you've never heard of playing venues you've never heard of. No she doesn't have a bandcamp.