I do as much self hosting as I can, but at the end of the day it requires buy-in by all users to be effective. It can create a lot of friction otherwise. I’ve accepted it’s just not going to happen.

The absolutely most important item (IMO) is photos- which I frankly do not trust Apple’s syncing logic to not screw up at some point. I’ve taken the approach that my self-hosting _is_ the backup. They lock me out or just wipe everything, no problem I have it all backed up. If the house burns down- everything is still operational.