Holy. Moly. I had no idea that this was another goal. That's ridiculous to try to do at the protocol level.
What I'm realizing, perhaps as an old timer -- projects like this seem to utterly forget the concept of "layers," despite, you know that being the whole internet, OSI and whatnot.
I remember having the idea that even this exact use case, air-quotes "twitter", could be done by simply layering something over email, e.g. you shoot an email to "posty-instance@myserver" or whatever and then some central-ish thing posts that to a public feed or whatever.
So much unnecessary reinvention.