That's rough, I'm sorry for your loss. I've been on dialysis for 5 years now (in-center, I couldn't do home for.. reasons). In the beginning I was considering giving up, but it did finally get somewhat better, and I'm fairly well adjusted now. I mean, it still sucks (especially losing about 5 hours 3 days a week), but I'm able to not think about it when I'm not there, at least.