Just because a popular project leader is a jerk does not mean the way to success is to be a jerk too.

Sure, but the evidence suggests that a complete inability to deal with jerks is going to be very limiting.

Maybe for some people. But most people are not jerks and you can absolutely limit yourself to dealing with them only.

Unless you want to participate in your HOA or local government, then I can't see how to limit myself to dealing with only non-jerks.