> That's not to say that in Europe it's bad service per se, and in certain ways I actually prefer it in Europe where the server isn't constantly "checking in" on me while I'm trying to have dinner.

I want them to check in to ensure that the order was (a) correct, and (b) properly cooked.

There may be instances in which you drop some cutlery or need an extra napkin, and a quick check-in could be useful. You could also flag them down with a raised hand or eye contact. A busser could achieve the same results too (also refilling water glasses).