"Your options as an individual, or even sizable portion of society, are to shit on the wait staff's income"

My primarily option is to multiply the estimated cost of going to the restaurant by 1.3 (tip+tax) and make my decision about going there based on that figure, not on published menu prices.

That's a good estimate for an individual visit as of today but is precisely the kind of thing that which has resulted in "normal" tips going from +.1 to +.15 to +.2 as the years go on (erring too low has more friction than erring too high, and if something else raises the amount traditionally tipped somewhere then "normal" for this will tend to adjust upwards in a large group).

Will owners realize at some point that the tips are really coming out of their pockets? If a guest has to pay $10 tip, she will buy $10 less food.

The staff wages (what tips offset) come out of their pocket either way, advertising the lower price is just a marketing technique.