I would be down to try leeching but I have an irrational fear theyre gunna lay eggs in my bloodstream.

Ssh... don't fight the symbiosis... accept your fate

EXACTLY what a cordiceps host would say!

You'll be fine. I went swamp swimming plenty as a kid and my grandmother would salt the leeches off me.

Nice!

That reminds me of https://www.cbc.ca/news/science/bloodsuckers-1.5361074 where I learned:

"... resist the temptation to pour salt on [a bloodsucking leech], as folk wisdom recommends, because that could cause the leech to vomit into the wound, posing unnecessary health risks, suggest biologists behind a new exhibit on bloodsucking animals."