Late child birth is not about fertility but about risks for the child. The only woman I know (yeah, anecdotes) who attempted to delay getting a child until after her 40th birthday got a baby with down syndrome. I know what living with a disability in our world means, from personal experience. And given that experience, I have a hard time giving these women some slack. I think they are risking the well being of their children just for their own selfish reasons. We are humans, and there are limits to what we can do. We need to accept them, or we will make other people suffer.
There is screening for down's syndrome in the first trimester, but then it becomes a matter of whether they are comfortable with pregnancy termination in case of down syndrome detection (down's syndrome can't be treated).
It is definitely something that you need to think about if you will have kids later in life (in addition to mother safety).
Late first child seems to have some substantial risks, though (what they call) geriatric pregnancies in general may not be as risky.
But even starting in your 30s gives you a big disadvantage, toddlers are fast (the fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s just been asked what he has in his mouth!).
Became a parent mid-30s and I cannot agree more. I didn’t feel old right away, but my first child is somewhat special-needs and it feels like parenting him has aged me 20 years in the past 7. This is a special case, but even with a ‘normal’ kid it’s still true.
The #1 thing I would tell any young person who would listen is that if you want them, finish having children by like 27. I know for most people, that represents a gamble (that you’ll be able to achieve financial stability in the future), but it’s a safer bet than betting that ‘future you’ will be better equipped in all of the non-money ways. Spoiler: older you is worse equipped in most ways. You might have more wisdom to impart, but the children won’t listen to you anyway so that’s moot.
>> The #1 thing I would tell any young person who would listen is that if you want them, finish having children by like 27
Unless one is from a wealthy family, following this advice basically means to give up a career.
Being a mom without a career is being insecure, it could end up in abusive relationship.
Anyone can end up in an abusive relationship, not just women. Choose well, indeed. And choose a career which offers generous benefits.
Also, I know women who work in tech who did that advice and are fine. They make high enough salaries to afford good daycare (or it is provided onsite).