it really bothers me when people try to assert people aren't actually neurodivergent/disabled because they dislike the person, and seem to want to further justify their dislike on a personal level instead of having compassion for the fact that they're actually disabled. i think people feel the need to assert this because they know they'd be an asshole to dislike someone for refusing to stand up and walk if they were wheelchair bound, so it's easier to pretend they don't actually need the wheelchair and are faking it.

the other point to this being frustrating is you're asserting she wasn't neurodivergent and then go on to describe some hallmark characteristics of neurodivergence. emotional regulation is one of the biggest challenges for people with ADHD and autism, and emotional outbursts and control of mood/emotions are exactly why neurodivergence is so incredibly difficult for so many people.