I fundamentally disagree with this, and especially people who need the website should not follow your advice.
Sometimes in life you just have to do stuff, even if you hate it.
These things also have a tendency to become easier the more you do it, so advising people to just not do it seems horrible advice.
Not showing up to a funeral of someone you were close to just because of your own discomfort is plain weird.
Not really. I've been to many funerals and I dont want to go to many more. You gotta learn that self preservation is more important sometimes.
The relevant thing is care and aid for the grieving loved ones of the deceased.
Your presence at the funeral, while symbolic (some might even say empty symbolism) is a way of showing the mourners that the deceased was cared for by many. It is comforting to some extent.
But of course, if funerals are too difficult, there are other ways to accomplish the same thing.
I never had to do with the grieving though? What do I care about the grieving? I care about the deceased person. I am not going to fake interest in their family if it never occurred when my friend was alive.
Personally I'd separate this out into two cases:
1 - Actively dislike the family
Sure, skip the funeral. If you & the family didn't get along in life there's no reason to put yourself through something you don't want to go to.
2 - Anything else
I'd go as a show of support for the family because the family was important to my friend. "It's what my friend would want" is the guiding principle here.
That said - I'm writing this as someone who was very uncomfortable going to funerals and now, years later, I regret choosing to stay home rather than go.
Your mileage may vary, as they say.
This has all been explained to you, thoroughly and repeatedly.
In the end... whatever. There are a lot of things that go into being a decent human being.
At the very least, I'm sure we'd agree on the big picture: the sum of how we care for our friends when they're alive is more important than what we do on the day of their funeral. So if you're being a good friend in other ways... hey, good on you.
Why compartmentalize your love? I recently attended a funeral and shared sympathies with several strangers that over the course of time, became closer to friends.
Your friend almost certainly loved their family, and their family loved your friend. Although they may be gone, you can still keep that connective love alive by doing the same things for others that you’d do for your friend - sometimes, it’s as simple as showing up, even just once, for someone else.
Do you really have to fake that?
Yes, I dont connect over these things. Also I have a pretty good circle of friends and dont need more people in my life. Every loss of a friend is like the world os falling apart and with more people in my life id have to go through that even more. I keep the number of people I have to deal with small.
Correct.
Sometimes.
Not for funerals of people you knew well.