It’s absolutely okay to prioritize the needs and comfort of the living.
The guest of honor won’t notice, I promise.
If the other (living) attendees have a problem with it, it’s at least 51% a them problem, IMO.
It’s absolutely okay to prioritize the needs and comfort of the living.
The guest of honor won’t notice, I promise.
If the other (living) attendees have a problem with it, it’s at least 51% a them problem, IMO.
This take is sad. We have become a society of emotionally weak people.
My wife and I make our kids do uncomfortable things because that’s what separates children from adults. An example, and not even the hardest one: Yesterday we were vacationing at the beach and we got a call from the dog boarding facility keeping our 8 year old dog, she was having seizures and had to be taken to an animal hospital. We drove 3 hours to see her. There was lots of crying, in front of everyone - who gives a shit. We had to have her euthanized. The 4 of us stayed with her for the entire process. We could have just told them to put her down over the phone and continued our vacation, or we could have left the room as they ended her life. She wasn’t conscious and we have no way of knowing if she was aware of our presence, but if something/someone makes an impact on your life, learn to be a little unselfish and be present. It hurts, but just because something hurts doesn’t mean we should shy away from doing it.
Learning to steel yourself is an important life skill. Obviously a dog is not a human, but the parallels are there - as humans we have honored the end of a impactful life throughout our history.
It's also selfish, narcissistic and kind of anti-social. Somehow, we've uplifted "taking care of yourself" over every other societal norm, obligation, and courtesy. Humans are not meant to be "on the comfortable/happy path" 100% of the time. Sometimes, we are expected to act altruistically. Sometimes we should make small sacrifices for others' benefits. Sometimes we should be go out of our comfort zone to comfort someone else. This doesn't mean torture yourself and ruin your mental health, but it does mean stepping out of your usual routine occasionally, for other people's sake.
This is such an anti social take. How dense to you have to be to not realize attendance is for the benefit of the living. The dead person is not the guest of honor it's the family of the deceased if there is any "guest of honor" at all
Not attending rightfully costs you a lot, even if you're lacking the social skills to perceive it
As far as I am concerned I dont exist for the families of my friends. I exist for my friends. Never cared about their families and they never cared about mine, its just how we move.
I’m in my mid-40s. When I randomly reconnect with friends from my 20s, they still ask about my parents and my parents still occasionally ask about them.
Yea so everyone should do that? Or are other platonic relationships allowed?
You’re clearly not receptive to anything outside of your comfort zone, so I think we can end this thread right here.
You're clearly not capable of seeing that humans live differently which is completely fine. Some tribes eat people, some tribes bury them. Just because most people value ordinary people things doesn't mean you should be forced into their culture
Look, if you want to live life like a hermit, that’s on you. As you get older, you will lose people, friends, family, acquaintances, not only through death, but growing apart for “normal” reasons, moving away, job changes, changes in interests, getting married, etc. Rarely in life do you make more connections later in life than you had when you were younger. The more you rail against social norms, the more you isolate yourself. If that’s what you want, fair enough. But if you want to be part of a well functioning social group, the rest of us value getting together at the end of someone’s life.
A funeral is not done for the deceased. A funeral is for the people who are still there.
These people, the real guests of honour, will remember your absence for the rest of their lives.