I can relate to this. I still run my own x86 box as a router to have the AP controller, but I'm strongly considering dropping this.

I need to update it and patch it, hoping nothing goes wrong in the process. If something breaks I'm the only one that can repair it, and I really don't want to hear my wife screaming at me at 7am when I wake up.

Eventually I came to your same conclusion, but I still run a hybrid setup that allows me to keep the router (for now), and a NAS for backup (3-2-1) and some local services. I run a dedicated server from Hetzner for "always on" services, so that the hardware, power redundancy and operational toil are offloaded. I gave up long ago on email: any hosting service will be way better than me doing it - I know I can do it, but is it worth my sanity? Nope.